just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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