bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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