i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
