is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
