doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
