i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
