38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
