Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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