How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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