just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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