that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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