It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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