Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
