soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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