thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
