Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
