ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
