dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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