mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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