How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
