I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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