I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
