If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
