Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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