The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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