fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize