had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
