so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
