Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
