The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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