I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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