I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
