I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
