Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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