hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
