I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Houston, we have a blender
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
