question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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