You're so nebulous sometimes
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
