btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
