You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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