Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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