my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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