wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
