It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
