We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
