piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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