Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
