ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
