I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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