Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
