I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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