my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
