Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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