he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
