we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
