small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
