uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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