Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
