My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
