One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
