dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
